first cut is the deepest

no explanation needed. the title says it all.

THE STORY OF US
JayZee + xTin

We were so happy
We had everything and more
We were meant to be
We were in love to the core

Everyone thought we were the perfect couple
Everybody thought we would last
We had love that was true and simple
Our relationship was a blast

But the unexpected happened
We broke up
The fairytale ended
And everybody was in shock

How could something so good end?
How could it be over
Couldn't we find a predicament?
Couldn't we just be together?

It was such a bummer
That we had to separate
It was very bitter
Seeing us emancipate

Because of some things
We had no choice but to let go
Although we were hurting
We just have to say adieu

Maybe it was not the right time
Maybe it's not our destiny
Tears fell from our eyes
As we said our sweetest goodbye

Memories are our only souvenir
Of a place in time we once shared
I'm sure we really loved each other
And it will always be and forever

goodbye

here is another of my creations. i'm so proud of this because it got published in my school paper. it's about finally giving up and accepting the truth that my love will never be reciprocated.

GOODBYE

The storm is over
Just like my love for you
I don't need a lucky clover
For you to love me as I do

I know I have no hope
In your heart i can't enter
There's no use for me to cope
In your life that's full of glitter

You're a star
And I'm just a girl-behind-the-curtain
In your list loving me is so far
But for me loving you is certain

It hurts me badly to love you
That's why I'm saying goodbye
It's hard for me to let go
But I just have to leave you behind

I am trying to move on
In my life without you
I have suffered for so long
That I can't endure my feelings that's true

I'll try to forget your face
I'll try to forget your walk
I'll try to forget your scent
I'll try to forget the way you talk

I have to set you free
For you belong in someone's arms
I hope she'll treasure you like a key
I hope she'll give you warmth

I have to forget you
But my love for you will not die
Please remember this before I go
I will love you 'till the end of time

again, this is dedicated to francis.

HIM

He's the guy who made me feel pretty

He's also the guy who made me feel ugly

He's the guy who played with my hair

He's also the guy who made me feel bare

He's the guy whom I gave my heart

But in the end he's the reason why I broke apart

He's the guy I should forget

But until now loving him I can't regret

He's the first guy who entered in my life

But what he just did is ruin it with a knife

He's the guy who made me cry

He's the guy who kept me wondering why

This is the last poem I'm doing for this man

Because I'm so sick searching for a plan

A plan that would make him mine

But right this very moment I'm still out of his line

I should forget him but won't stop loving him

I should get over him but still love him

I should never stop in caring and loving him

Because I know I cannot forget him

my masterpiece

okay, so this isn't really masterpiece material. but hey i made this and i'm mighty proud of it. this is the first poem i ever wrote. it's dedicated to this guy named francis. he was my classmate in highschool and my world kinda revolved around him that time. i was totally smitten by his charm. so here it goes:

TRUE LOVE

I love you so much

That I can't let go

Even if you said that I have no guts

Even if i know that it's a low blow

I know I'm not your type

So I tried everything to be your kind

I tried to learn how to motorbike

But I'm still out of your mind

I tried to be cool and hip

I tried to be sexy and sassy

But I still always pout my lower lip

Because you still think I'm lazy

I'm not with my true self for so long

That I can't remember my song

But I learned a lesson though

That you can't change even for your one true love

Disclaimer: I made this in my freshmen year of highschool so please excuse my words or grammar.

inner demon

the hardest battle to fight is when your enemy is your own self. you know what is right but you just don't have the courage to follow it. it's like playing stupid but you can't fool yourself. you feel good for the moment but once the high subsides you hate yourself more. it's very addictive, so hard to quit. slowly digging your own pit of failures and you got nobody to blame but your own wrongdoings. your brain says something but your body does another. it feels awful to be in this situation. trust me, i know. i have been like this all my life. there always has two voices in my head. the angel and the devil. sadly, the latter always win. i certainly know what i should do but i just can't get myself to cooperate. very frustrating. maybe that's why i never accomplish anything major. i'm always good but never great. it sucks to be always average. plain jane, bland, neutral. i know what i want. i know how to get it. but i just can't do it. take for example my diet. i want to be skinny. i know i should watch what i'm eating but i just can't put down a box of chocolates. but after i empty it all out i feel awful and resentful. it drives me crazy! how can i defeat this inner demon within me? how can i win my war? how long will i be a slave of my alter ego? how much more can i survive this constant dilemma in my head? i'm tired of being a disappointment.

introducing: ME!

hello everyone! so this will be an introduction of who i am. before i start blogging about my life i might as well share with you basic info about me. my name is christine frances. i am a 22 year old filipina. i am born, raised and still living in the philippines. i am an only child. my parents were very protective of me up until i finished college. i have a bachelor's degree in accountancy. i am currently reviewing for the board exams. i want to become a certified public accountant. i moved out of my parents house since last year and trying to make it on my own though they are still supporting me financially. i attend review school 7 hours away from my hometown. that's really far. i don't have a job right now but after the exams even if i pass or not (but i really hope i will) i promise to find one. i don't have a boyfriend as of this moment. i choose to be single so there won't be any hindrance from reaching my dreams. i'm a papa's girl. don't get me wrong, i love my mom too but i'm just closer to my dad. i cannot live without music. writing poems is my outlet since i do not have a sibling to talk to. i'd rather wallow on my own than disturb my friends with my dramas. i will be posting some of my literary works here. i'm a shopaholic / chocoholic / OCD / kinda emo / kinda happy type of girl. i'm complicated yet simple on my own way. follow me in my journey from being a little girl to an independent woman. that's all for now. see ya la8r! xoxo, xtin